Out of many, we are one.

President-elect Barack Obama took to the stage in Grant Park in Chicago in front of 2 million who came to see him speak. He was mesmerizing. He spoke of an America united and energized. He said our road was long. It might not happen in one year or one term but it will happen. What was seen next was unlike anything I anticipated. People all over the country spilled in to the streets and celebrated. Harlem was alive and celebrating, Washington DC had thousands of people celebrating in front of the White House chanting "Yes we can! Yes we can!" And despite what the ignorant opposition feared, there was no criminal element' no rioting, no police intervention. We were time-stamped last night as we had been in the past. We all remember where we were when 9/11 happened or when Kennedy was shot. Now we have been time stamped with hope. We will remember where we were when we first felt hope, shortly after 11pm on an early November evening. States that were traditionally red states were going blue. Voter turn out was greater than we've ever seen by more than 14 million votes. Young people mobilized and organized. First time voters were welcomed and congratulated. Record numbers of people stood in lines many hours long and no one complained. We wouldn't leave those lines without casting our vote. We all wanted to be part of change. And we were!!
We saw George W Bush who has been so divisive reach out to Barack Obama and say he would open the White House to him and his new staff. He would make this transition a smooth one. He wished him God's speed. If nothing more, that will be President Bush's legacy. He was gracious when it was most needed.
I woke my children up at 11pm to show them what their new world looked like. We cheered for a great man who transcended race and showed the world what a unique man of character he is. Their world looks different today. Our moral compass has a new true north. We have a new direction. This is the miracle of our time.

Obama

It's 6 days away and I watched Obama's 1/2 hour tv special tonight. He's a powerful presence and deserves the office he seeks. He embodies the messages I hold most dear. His hope for the future and belief that we are our brothers and sisters keeper is the cornerstone to my personal philosophy. What I will do is pray for him. He is a once in a generation leader.

Still holding on

It's been a month since my birthday and I've seen no other changes other than turning 40. I suppose that's not a bad thing. I could have gone a bender due to the big 4-0 and gained my weight. I could have gotten depressed and eaten my way through a bag of cheetos but I didn't. I'm going to do that diet one more time and give it a go. Let's see what I can do. I definitely don't want to go back to the doctor and prove him right. He's such a pain in the backside and I don't want to feed his opinion. Ray loses 8 lbs and he's congratulatory. I lose 15 lbs and he says we'll see if you can keep it up? WTF? I drop my cholesterol 30+ points- and he says nothing. Ray wont take his meds and he's supportive? I don't get it. Suspect it's a male female thing and he's somewhat biased. On the brighter side, I enjoyed Vegas more than I thought I would. We had a blast! I found a cute little cover up for my bathing suit and strutted all around the pool! Brave little 40 yr old that I am! Today I shopped for clothes and squeezed into a 14. I didn't buy it but I made it into the dress! I'm still a solid 16 but I remember the days of being a tight 24 so I relish my progress!

happy birthday

I wanted so badly to post today that I had lost the weight. I haven't. I won't get on the scale today. 40 is here and the weight loss is still in progress. Same old story. I keep hearing the words "Is this working for you?" running over and over in my mind. Of course it's not working. How do I eat and get thin? I have no idea.

What stress can do to my diet

It's almost a guaranteed that stress can sabotage almost any dieting efforts. That's what stress does best. It's takes your efforts and warps your mind into believing it's not worth it. It's been a challenge the last couple of days. Is my DH losing his job? Probably. Could there be any more of a worse time for it to happen? Probably not. Economy sucks, middle son going into braces, I have no FT job. Now is not the time for me to be self absorbed in a failing diet. At least that what I'd like to believe. What I'm actually telling myself is- try something different. Try not coming out of this crisis with 20 lbs packed on. Try keeping my chin up and mouth closed for once in my life. I can get through this. It's doesn't come under the three "in's" of crisis time- "inoperable, indicted, or incarcerated." Those are bad. This is unfortunate. Big difference. I can do this. I can do this. He can do this. We can do this.

Have I turned the corner?

Yesterday I was down to 209.5 What the hell happened? Have I turned the proverbial corner? My victory was short lived. Today I'm back up to 212. I don't know how the hell that happened. I eat shrimp for lunch and salad for dinner and I gain 2.5 lbs. I hate my metabolism. I really do. So today I ate an egg white omelet and we'll see what tomorrow looks like. I'll probably be back up to 216. Shoot me now.

9 days left

Today I'm still at 210.5. That's better than I thought I'd be when I stepped on the scale. I thought for sure I'd be 214 or more. Can you guess that I haven't been dieting? What can I do with 9 days left? Can I lose those last 10.5 lbs before I hit 40? I have no idea. I may have to be happy "enough." Maybe this is why 40 sucks. I went to the movies and justified the popcorn with the fiber speech I gave myself. Why do I sabotage my best efforts? I think that's one for the shrinks to figure out. I'm sitting here with a cold cup of coffee trying to jump start my metabolism. I always feel so run down a little caffeine jolt might be the way to go. I took my son Cam shopping yesterday and I bought a pair of shorts. I didn't want to- I've been avoiding buying clothes because I'm dieting. Why buy something you won't fit into in another month? I gave in and did it. Almost admitting defeat. I have a pair of pants I bought two months ago that I can't wear because they swim on me. It's a nice feeling, don't get me wrong. But it feels terrible that that is a $40 waste. Ugh- I hate the inner struggle.