9 days left

Today I'm still at 210.5. That's better than I thought I'd be when I stepped on the scale. I thought for sure I'd be 214 or more. Can you guess that I haven't been dieting? What can I do with 9 days left? Can I lose those last 10.5 lbs before I hit 40? I have no idea. I may have to be happy "enough." Maybe this is why 40 sucks. I went to the movies and justified the popcorn with the fiber speech I gave myself. Why do I sabotage my best efforts? I think that's one for the shrinks to figure out. I'm sitting here with a cold cup of coffee trying to jump start my metabolism. I always feel so run down a little caffeine jolt might be the way to go. I took my son Cam shopping yesterday and I bought a pair of shorts. I didn't want to- I've been avoiding buying clothes because I'm dieting. Why buy something you won't fit into in another month? I gave in and did it. Almost admitting defeat. I have a pair of pants I bought two months ago that I can't wear because they swim on me. It's a nice feeling, don't get me wrong. But it feels terrible that that is a $40 waste. Ugh- I hate the inner struggle.