Not a mention of dieting today

My son Ryan leaves the nest today to join the US Navy. I think I have a little bit more insight into what a mother's grief really feels like. I'm beside myself with overwhelming sadness as he leaves. He's chosen a career in submarine service which will put him out of contact for months at a time. It just doesn't make sense as a mother not to talk to him for more than a day let alone what the Navy has in store for us. I feel powerless in this situation. I just want one more time to read to him or curl up with him. I cant let go. Why does 4pm have to come today? Goodbyes are awful. I'll say " Until I see you again." I can't say goodbye.